Welcome to our first blog, our gawgeous little nugs!
In case you haven’t met one of us before, here’s a few things to know before we get started:
Minimuffin: (noun) People might call us JAPs but that’s SO 80’s and soooo not PC! We are smart girls that just wanna have fun!
We hail from Long Island, where, aside from taking the boat out to get wasted on a hot summer day, there isn’t much else to do. Driving around town, dropping daddy’s credit card everywhere from Tiffany’s to Barney’s at Miracle Mile with lunch breaks at Kitchen Cabaret and dessert at Pinkberry can only help surge the economy - so everyone wins! And let’s not forget the tanning, mani/pedis 24/7 and….GO SMILE teeth whitening as we drink our double XX Iced Coffee!
Some may say we are vertically challenged, as 5’2’ is about as tall as we get, (something in the LI water maybe?) But we loveee doing our hair (jet black, blown out, flat ironed, shined and glossed to perfection…BioSilk anyone? We aspire to look the same ALWAYS! (boyfriends call us interchangeable sometimes) We die for our Bobbi Brown and Chanel Bronzer and DO NOT LEAVE HOME without our NARS Turkish Delight Lip Gloss.
People who aren’t from Long Island don’t understand our accents…it’s tawk, not talk. Get it right people.
Standard street attire includes:
- BB Dakota Faux Fur, Shinny leggings and combat leather boots; cheetah flats when our feet hurt.
- Diamond-encrusted Michelle and Michael Kors watches; Michelle on odd days, Michael on even.
- The latest iPhone; Pre-ordered through daddy’s college buddy who runs the factory.
- An exclusive designer handbag; We are favoring Chanel, Louis (as in Vuitton) and Rebecca Minkoff these days.
- Black Mercedes SUV or BMW with more than enough room for our fellow MM’s.
The MM cycle of life includes:
- Born at Long Island Jewish Hospital (private reserved room, obvi)
- Age: 7-13 Summers at Sleep Away Camp including Indian Head, Wayne, Timberlake, Timberlake West, Tyler Hill
- Age: 13 BEST BAT MITZVAH SEASON EVAH!
- Age:14-18 Sweet 16’s, SAT’s, Bahamas Spring Break and Teen Tours
- Age:18-22 College at UPenn, Michigan, Wisconsin, Indiana, Buffalo, Maryland, Syracuse, Rhode Island, Hofstra, UofCentral Florida
- Age: 22-26 Murray Hill high-rise in the center of Manhattan to find stockbroker/laywer/doctor husbands at bars like Joshua Tree!
- Age: 26-29 Move back to Long Island and start the cycle gain for a new generation.
- Age: 30+ Real Housewifes of Long Island! YAY!!!!
Here are some MM Terms YOU MUST KNOW:
Does It Look Like I Give A F**k (DILLIGAF): I don’t care!
Get It In Bitch (GIIB): I recommend having sexual relations with a boy.
Get A Room Bitch (GARB): Too much PDA.
Fear Of Missing Out (FOMO): Anxiety related to missed opportunities.
Get At Me (GAM): I have interest in a boy.
What Are You Wearing (WRUW): Outfit tonight?
Get It Honnay: Amazingggg.
Fro yo (frozen yogurt): This is a basic food group.
Sushi: Also a basic food group.
Long hair, don’t care: Over it.
Welcome to our world…GET IT HONNAYYYYYY!